Wedding Blooz - Part II

On the eve of the D-day I try my best to act as if it's someone else's wedding on the morrow. Certainly not me. Denial - stage 3. Well, it almost works ... till my brood of boisterous cousins finds me hiding out on the terrace. So then starts the most awful bit of ragging that I've ever had the misfortune to undergo. Even college was safe compared to this!

I could free myself from those merciless goons only when it was nearing midnight and that too coz mom came and shooed them out saying I needed my sleep. Then she sat down to tell me to get a good night's sleep, eat something in the morning - 'What do you want for breakfast?' - not to worry about anything (as if!).... yadda, yadda, yap, yap. Finally, I said 'Ma, you are the one working into a tizzy, not me. I'm alright.'

On the morning of my wedding day, there was a state-wide 'bandh'. Well, in Kerala every other day is a Bandh for something or the other. This time it was over the Petroleum minister's called for resignation over the rise in fuel prices - like the man was lining his pockets with the amount raised (which could very well be likely, for all we idiots know about how politics works). The bandh was enough to send blood pressures soaring through the roof. I thought mom would faint. Thankfully, all my myriad uncles (blood relations as well as those married into the family) got together to draw up plans for the marriage cavalcade. Yes indeed! A cavalcade that involved my car being the flagship ... er, flag-bearer ... erm, chief patsy ... well, whatever ... the lead car, followed by 3 hired ATVs (carrying my assortment of uncles, aunts, cousins, babes and drivers) followed by a Volvo bus filled with another variation of the same assortment followed yet by a last car ... the rear end of this cartoon procession. All the vehicles had 'Marriage' printed in Malayalam, stuck to their windscreens.

When we see a video of a marriage, everyone Oohs and Aahs over everything. For once, I was facing the heat, literally!! Video shooting is a sweaty business!! Yuck! There I was ... decked to the nines in a ton of gold and wearing a heavy brocade curtain ... sorry, sari with yet another ton of gold threads on it. All in all, I'd be sure to break the weighing scales. Through all this, the one fact that I was most cognisant of was this - sweat running down your spine and seeping into your underclothes has got to be the most savagely ticklish event in the entire blessed Universe!!! And you cannot scratch in public!! LOLOLOL

Part III to follow soon. Toodles again.